A special welcome to anyone who is new to The Grieving Room. We meet every Monday evening. Whether your loss is recent or many years ago, whether you have lost a person or a pet, or even if the person you are "mourning" is still alive ("pre-grief" can be a very lonely and confusing time) you can come to this diary and process your grieving in whatever way works for you. Share whatever you need to share. We can't solve each other's problems, but we can be a sounding board and a place of connection.
Tonight diary is a meta-diary for this series. First, some background... The Grieving Room was founded four and a half years ago, after a few of us recently bereaved noticed each other and our mutual circumstances in various comments threads, and decided to start a series devoted to the subject that we found all-consuming. The idea was that writing seemed to help us all process our losses, and reading about someone else's grief (even an internet stranger's) was oddly comforting. For the period of interaction, we found relief from isolation, and did not have to refrain from being a "downer" (as was the case in most other areas of our lives). Doing this on Daily Kos was a no-brainer - we had a reasonable assumption that the strangers with whom we were sharing our grief also held similar political and ethical beliefs, so the group felt safe in a lot of ways.
One of those mourners was a blogger who called herself exmearden. Her real name was Kris, and through our shared grief and our work together on this series, we became friends. She became ill in 2009, of a cancerous tumor in the wall of her heart (oh the irony), and she died last November at the age of 52. I still feel the tears well up as I write about her. To those who knew her or her writing, no explanation is needed. To those who never did, today is your lucky day. Please click the first link up at the top of this diary (in the welcome blurb) and start from the beginning - meet her as I did. I promise, you won't regret a minute of it. She is truly the finest writer I have ever had the privilege to know (among the finest prose writers I've ever read).
The bottom line - I once kept this series going as a memorial to my mother, but she's been gone a while now and my grief is no longer immediate - no longer demanding that I process it. Now, I feel the series must continue both as a service to all DK users who are finding themselves bereft, but also as a living memorial to our beloved Kris.
All that said, I'm feeling a bit stuck...
The series is strugging.
I own this. No excuses, just explanations: I've become rather busy in my dual-career and family life. I'm no longer grieving my mother daily, and honestly, I often forget about the series until the day before, when it's time to remind the next host. I often work on Monday evenings, and don't always make it to the diary to help plug for hosts. I don't "market" the series in any special way, or even send out reminders to the regulars. I have really let it exist in its own way, by the needs and williness of the readers to help out.
We now find ourselves in a place where we have exactly two volunteers on the hosting list, and weeks and weeks of open hosting slots (see the tip-jar comment, where the schedule is traditionally posted).
My plan now is to welcome any new (or returning) hosts who would like to volunteer, but then to start re-posting Grieving Room diaries from the beginning of the series into any open dates. The downside is that we lose the interaction in the comments, where our series has always had its true purpose. This is truly just a stop-gap measure, and not really the basis of a strong community series. Should there continue to be a disinterest in hosting, I will dismantle the series as a regular weekly feature, and eventually bring it to a graceful close.
I do not personally plan on writing any more diaries for the series, at this point (barring any new losses, obviously). I've had my say.
This diary is informational, but it is also a request for input and for volunteers. I am more than ready to hand over (or share) the administration of the series to/with someone who has time and a calling to this work. It is not hard to do (especially at the minimum level I have been doing it), and I will continue to do so...but if there is a person out there for whom this sounds like a custom-made opportunity, please let me know. There is room here to adapt and grow the series for someone with the desire to do so. This is your chance! Please speak up if you think I might be talking to you.
In addition, I hope that longtime grievers and newbies alike will consider volunteering for a hosting slot. Pick an open Monday and speak up for it under the tip-jar comment. If you haven't done it before, I will be contacting you with all the information you need.
I am setting this to publish at a time when I'll still be working, so don't expect any replies from me until very late tonight.
As always, please consider the comments to be an open thread for any discussion related to grief or loss. There is no loss too big or too small for our group. This is the safe place.
POSTSCRIPT: I will be adapting the series logo to include some more names at the end of this year (during my holiday break). Please let me know about names that you'd like to have included. I have a few on the list to add. Just drop me a message via Daily Kos messaging.